Here's my theory about Jim Beam. There is only one bottle of it in the world, and no one actually drinks it. The guy who first bought it was going to a party held by someone he didn't particularly like. Someone he didn't deem worthy of a decent bottle of liquor. So the person who ended up with it paid it forward to someone else, and eventually it ended up in my possession. So that means someone dislikes me enough to stick me with this foul, pungent hot potato. Unfortunately I was stupid enough to open it, thinking I could choke it down. But that means I can't pass it on to anyone else so it looks like the cycle ends with me. Great.